Articles

Drama Versus Reality.

It’s true that each of us have skeletons in our cupboard – and it’s also true that we don’t have to take on another person’s story/prison bars but….

Imagine that you are 90 and have lived a long and fulfilling life – the kind of life that means that you have met your demons/shortcomings and come to peace within yourself. A life that now you can look back on and see that much of what you felt was a real crisis at the time, was actually nothing in comparison to what you suffered later… and then when you look at the painful thing that happened later, you can see that it was nothing in comparison to the more painful thing that happened even later…and so on. Then you realise that the reason that you see any of these happenings as painful, is that you suffer; but that once you suffer something even worse, the lesser thing doesn’t actually seem so bad.

You realise that the things seem bad at the time anyway though – and look further, to find that things are bad at the time because you become dramatic about it and the reason that the next thing seems worse – is not necessarily because it is worse, but because you are caught in the drama of that thing, whereas the other thing… has passed by now… and you are not caught in the drama of it anymore.

Then you see that sometimes, the past drama won’t go away. That each time you think any thought that reminds you of it, you become caught up in it again as if it is still happening and you realise that it is as if the past drama that isn’t happening anymore on the outside, is happening on the inside – the inside of you.

Oh no! Now you realize that it’s actually hard to judge what is happening on the outside for what it is – because you no longer have a clean inside to reflect it – you see it through all the dramas that are stuck inside you; in fact, it begins to seem like you are the drama – and yet, you can’t help but be stuck with the idea that the drama started with someone/something else…outside of you!

‘In, out? Inside, outside? Inner world, outer world? How can I tell?’ You begin to oscillate in your reactions to happenings, finding yourself in one drama after another; one moment thinking that it is because of a drama inside you that got stuck and another moment thinking it is because of something happening outside of you. Even when you think it is because of a drama stuck inside of you, it still seems as if that started outside of you too!

You have arrived in the construct of the ‘blame-game’ without realizing it.

Realising the state you are in, you panic a little and within this discomfort maybe you tell yourself that you are okay – it is not your fault – you are a good person – and it is other people’s fault that you are in this pickle. But then you feel negative towards them anyway and so you try to reason things through and arrive at Universal analogies, like ‘we all mess up’ and ‘where I have landed is a collusion of my own mistakes and confusions and other people’s.’ But even though you see this – and it gives temporary relief not to be angry with yourself or others – it doesn’t show you how to no longer be effected by the apparent dramas in your inner and outer world. It seems that you are doomed to suffer.

You exist trying to distract yourself and copying others who are also existing by filling in their time with things that seem important, worthwhile, pleasurable and anything but pathetic – but inside, when you are alone, you know you are faking it – and you wonder who else out there is faking it too, however well they seem to be coming over. It seems that success is about appearing as though you have it ‘sorted’ but it eats into your heart that you know the truth… that you don’t have it all worked out at all and not only that, you can’t find anyone else that seems to have it all worked out either…(although there are an array of people who are shiny and confident, acting as if they do – but you see that they are reliant on popularity to sustain themselves… and you see how their mouths turn down when they think no-one is looking).

So in the hope of finding some comfort, you join with others who are talking the talk; they are saying that this life of ours is filled with illusion and that we have all copied one another in a vain attempt to become more substantial and capable. You group with these people and try to adopt their solution. You do find some comfort in this but still when you return home, alone, you admit to yourself that you still feel lost and that actually, even these groups seem like another drama. Again, you find yourself in a loop, wondering how to find the truth within all these different dramas: Where the dream ends and reality begins.

You consider all manner of desperate things like walking a thousand miles with only a handful of coins before returning – hoping that something really phenomenal might happen if you were to make such efforts but you see this is yet another drama playing out and that actually, you simply cannot stop them. You realise you are in this hole deeply and have no way to get out.

You weep. Give up. Wake up. Pray. Yes, pray – ‘I never pray. I will pray now, because I have nothing left and if there is something conscious out there that can hear me, then I must let it know I am in deep trouble here. I will pray – what have I to lose?’ You pray.

‘Dear God, I am sorry that I haven’t been in touch for a while and feel guilty and bad that I don’t thank you for this planet and I’m sure you help me but I cannot tell – and I should thank you for that – but all that aside, I am in deep trouble now and I need your help. I don’t know who I am – I seem to be so many identities all rolled into one – and this ‘one’ malfunctions and conflicts so much of the time. I am not happy and I cannot find an example of a man that I want to be like…. I fail at all that I try for and can’t live superficially as others seems to manage to – I feel that I am a freak of nature – one that won’t make it. I think of suicide…. But I know that is yet another drama and a very selfish one. Please…please, hear my self-indulgent prayer and show me what to do? Thank you for listening and I hope to come here more often. Amen.’

Then you wait. You feel a little better just for telling some one, for getting it off your chest – but now what do you do? You switch on the TV and wait for an answer to come; maybe it will be a sign, maybe it will be a message from someone else…. ‘Maybe he will even speak to me…’ You start imagining angels and lights and all sorts while the flickering of the TV stays lodged within the corner of your eye.

And now your 90. Imagine that you are 90 and have lived a long and fulfilling life – the kind of life that means you have met your demons/shortcomings and come to peace within yourself. What happened? How did you learn? What answered your prayer? Maybe there were signs, answers and opportunities but actually for you, it was one simple thing …TIME. Over time you have seen that dramas, inside and out, lose their impetus eventually – and any remaining are outdated and inconsequential. Over time you see that what bothered you when you were ten, didn’t anymore when you were twenty because you had greater perspective by then and could see it in context with something much bigger than the event itself. Over time you realised that you will die and all of these dramas will die with you because whatever the drama is on the outside, only remains on the inside if it sticks – and it can only stick if it has something to stick onto – and that is normally another drama that has come before it. Over time you remember how you were before the dramas – how simple it was then, before you were clogged up with opinions and fears, funding a will to determinedly get your own way – or at the other extreme, give up like a victim and let others get their own way – which really wasn’t much different to your way anyway.

Over time you have witnessed the futility of drama taken as reality. Over time you have let it all go – bit by bit and sometimes whole belief systems at a time – so now you are free of the illusions that haunted you and prohibited you from just ‘being’ in the world without having to fight, or prove yourself to anyone or anything, including your egotistical SELF!

Through this life of yours, you had partnerships – and you would of course immerse yourself in their dramas amongst many others, as they would with yours also. These partnerships followed the same chaotic pattern with the same frustrations as your singular life – seeming that much more dramatic and chaotic with two sets of everything to consider. You remember wanting a certain person to be with you that would appease your needs as you were prepared to appease theirs and make you feel good about yourself and free in your inner world – but none of that had come to pass. You realise that it was a double-drama structure that you were both caught within and whether the partner you were with had blue eyes or green, was younger or older had long legs or nice hair, was creative or religious, bad-tempered or adventurous – however they were- you didn’t really see them through your own sticky dramatic inner world. You moved on from one to another until finally you found one that seemed different but even this was a drama – the ‘different’ drama – because actually, you could be with anyone at all and yet still it would be the same as long as your dramas filled your inner world – they would also be fulfilled on the outside.

So the question is – how can we remove ourselves from the world of drama – rather than wait until TIME delivers us our greater picture… our fuller perspective?

Can we live within drama and yet apart from it?

Over the next few weeks, various complimentary additions to this article will be uploaded including filmed interviews with the general public asking them, 1. Is there a difference between drama and reality? and 2. How can we know the difference between drama and reality?

Thank you for reading. Comments welcome.

© 2015 Sarita Perrott. All Rights Reserved.

Being Human – Introduction

What is it to be human? Are we any different to other animals and if so in what way/s?

Father and childIn some views, to be human is to be a good God fearing citizen. In others it is to be a ‘good person’ trying to resist patting onself on the back along the way. Yet in others, to be human, is to develop much further than our deceptive world of technology would  have us believe that we have. It is interesting to note that for some, being human is to have as much as possible in the way of creature comforts and to be able to sup wine from an ornate glass at the end of the day. Yet there are those who feel to really be human, material things don’t matter – and yet others still, who feel to be human is to be ‘wild and free.’ This is a broad topic involving many lines of study and research running parallel with each other, so we begin here, by taking a look at the drama that many people spend their lives living – as if in a waking dream or nightmare.

Drama Versus Reality is the first article of this topic and readers will be invited to contribute via text, audio and film.

Thank you for reading. Comments welcome.

© 2015 Sarita Perrott. All Rights Reserved.

Don’t Just Think Outside The Box – Open It!

As children we are raised amongst other people’s ideas of how the world looks and the people in it – and as many opinions related to how it is best to look, behave and even feel. At school we are encouraged to take in information that will help us in life later on and we serve a concentrated period of time until we are sixteen, trying more or less to fulfil the goals that often others have set for us. We may experience further education or work or neither and according to whatever wind comes our way. we may land in a vast variety of different scenarios, experiencing along the way.

Regardless of the former details of our lives (though not discounting them) and not withstanding the events that led to such a change, we may find ourselves shunted out of our usual existence and within the boundaries of a very differently perceived world. The media’s consistent translation and packaging of current affairs, means that unless we are one of a majority when disaster strikes, or we are within a topic granted publicity by the press for their own overt or covert gain, we are in effect forgotten.

Another Angle For The Brave digs deep below the surface of each topic being researched, to include the forgotten, hidden, hushed, imprisoned, gagged and deceased; each recapitulation of events thoroughly researched and providing authentic links where applicable.

You can follow this blog to keep abreast of new articles being discussed and add your own comments. There will also be opportunity for you to submit your own text, audio or personally filmed interview contributing your responses to each category of articles.

Thank you for reading. Comments welcome.

© 2015 Sarita Perrott. All Rights Reserved.

Trust, Knowledge and Acceptance

Where does trust go awry? We can witness many a life scene full of the wailing and sobbing of disbelief as one’s expectations have been unfulfilled or even diametrically challenged. The indignant reaction we can all display in the face of the dreaded ‘lie’. Yet it is interesting to note, that the same guy who sits in excruciating pain, after learning of his wife’s affair with his brother, has spent the last few years, always late for work. I know, I know, “That is hardly a fair comparison,” I hear you cry; but let’s look a little further.

Why is he distraught? “I trusted you. I never thought you would do that! How could you?!” What is occurring as he adjusts to this new status quo? Isn’t it just that? He thought there were certain fixed criteria that assured that behavior would stay within certain parameters; he had expectancies based on his knowledge to date. But the dynamics have changed and he was not informed. Now his expectancies are unrealistic and out of sync with others.

So it appears there are certain pointers that need to be mutually defined and updated for trust to be dependable. Some of us will make it more casual. We will say that we trust one thing or another but at base, we do not rely on those things in such a way that if they let us down, we would be severely impacted. We flirt with the idea of trust, with little expectancy. Whereas, there are others of us, who we watch with disdain/compassion as they repeatedly put trust into unreliable situations. We say these people are “gluttons for punishment” but really we watch, intrigued to witness whether their apparent bravery/foolishness will bring rewards or heartache.

In the same token, can we ourselves be trusted? We may be entrusted with information and yet later find that this is the very data needed to resolve someone else’s grief. Now we teeter between the position of trustee or God. Do we divulge what we have been entrusted with? How do we choose? Many a time, this choice will be based on compulsion; fear; looking after one’s own position; who we favor in the event at hand; prize principles which we habitually identify with.

There would be no soap operas if trust was reliable. It is a subjective commodity and vulnerable at each step. It doesn’t necessarily become more significant with time, although if we are sufficiently aware, we can ourselves, observe the reality of things and therefore make our expectations more in line with reality. This introduces a different concept: knowledge. Suppose I trade my trust for knowledge… how would that go?

Again we witness the wailing and sobbing of disbelief as one’s expectations have been unfulfilled or even diametrically challenged. But this time, instead of being wounded by the unexpected lie, we ask ourselves, did I really know what to expect? Ok, I thought I did but did I really know? Remember, the same guy who sits in excruciating pain, after learning of his wife’s affair with his brother, has spent the last few years, always late for work. He spent the last ten years married to a woman who he thought he trusted. He didn’t challenge that thought.

In the same way, although his contract of employment stated a starting time of 8.30 am, his boss had weighed his lateness up with his whole working life there and decided he was still a worthwhile employee. The boss has made decisions based on his knowledge of the employee; who has also found a comfortable, albeit regularly late, niche at his place of employment. In the case of his marriage, his ignorance has cost him dearly. Yet within his workplace, his expectancies have remained unfulfilled.

So further to our desire to trust, is a need for knowledge. However, how can we trust the knowledge? Perhaps you have asked your wife, “Are you happy with me, darling?” and they have responded positively. In fact, such was their desire to portray the wrong knowledge, they have covered many areas which may have alerted you had you been on the look-out for clues. We find that trust on its own, is negotiable and unreliable. Knowledge pertaining to the issue of trust can be given or withheld. These things cannot be changed and it is easy to empathize with those who sit in despair, after investing a lot of attention into their heartfelt desire; only to find, through lack of knowledge, their visions falling though their fingers.

It seems we are duped. Yet already we have progressed. We are not blindly trusting anymore and we see that all the knowledge in the world, cannot assure an outcome. So, what do we do? Stay clear of each other? Prohibit any joint ventures? Design legal contracts to accompany each and every agreement that is entered into? There seems one first obvious step to take; to recognize that we are all in the same position.

Now as soon as we see this, there are inner voices that scream, “Yeah, well that may be so but how come I am the one that always loses?!! How come her lack of knowledge gained her my house, my kids and my brother and my lack of knowledge has lost me the lot??!” Fair enough. It is true that there are both ends to this stick. Where the gamble of life is, there are both extremes: winners and losers, bullies and victims; great days and days full of struggle. It is the same for trust and life knowledge. We cannot progress further without accepting this reality.

I think I have a best friend. In my reality, we share everything and would drop anything superficial for anything the other needed. I trust her. I base my behavior toward her around these expectancies. I feel emotional stability within these beliefs. I am babysitting her children at her house several towns away. Upon realizing I have neglected to bring an important document for my University work, rather than illicit my husband’s help, as I know he is very busy, I take a drive with the children back to our house to pick it up. Upon my arrival, I am aghast to find my husband and best friend, disheveled and curled up together in front of the open fire.

The schema that I have explodes in an instant and I see that my trust was blind and my knowledge incomplete. I am about to display rage and express how indignant I feel in the face of their deceit… and then I remember last week, when my elderly neighbor, Mrs. Skwint, asked for my help with her drunken son, begging me through the letter box…

We are all doing the same and having the same done to us; except no-one has decided it. Not even the wheelers and dealers who sit planning and scheming. They will land sometimes at one end of the stick and other times at the other end of the stick. Like you and like me. If we are to know what is really happening, we are going to need some real knowledge. What do I mean by real knowledge?

Well, if I am told that my tea-cup is blue, I can look and see and ask myself, “Is my tea cup blue?” and if it is, I have knowledge. So what is that statement before I have checked it? It is data. In the same way, when my friend tells me she would drop anything for me, it is data. This remains data until it is proved. But even if there is an event where I judge my friend to prioritize my needs before her desires, she is not like the tea-cup. Her position is not immovable. It may be that one day she is able to subjugate herself for another, and another day it does not even enter into her possibilities.

So we have another variable to consider here. There are some things that are fixedand others that are subject to change. This is where true knowledge begins. If we make a study of what is fixed and what can change, we will know what can be relied upon and what cannot be or rather, what can be trusted to remain as it is and what can be trusted to change – or what the facts are and what possibilities they hold.

In place of trust, we can place observation -> data -> verification -> knowledge -> acceptance. This trade means less confusion; less guess work; less taking someone else’s word for it and therefore less blame and negativity. When we verify things for ourselves, we have only ourselves to hold responsible. However, to make these principles a reality, we need to start thinking differently, beginning with the realization that we do not already know. To arrive at this initial point can take many years. We can make a start by learning to observe ourselves.

Thank you for reading. Comments welcome.

© 2015 Sarita Perrott. All Rights Reserved.

http://www.trans4mind.com/counterpoint/index-happiness-wellbeing/perrott2.shtml

Empowering Our Own Lives.

The brain is the computer for the body. The senses allow us to communicate with the outside world. There are continual external expressions and we react to them like puppets. Yes. I wake up and it is sunny – I smile and feel good and then turn to put my feet in my slippers on the floor and the cat has been sick in one and I feel cross and then I go downstairs and little Taffy, my dog, runs towards me with the paper in his mouth and I feel lucky. My dog is so cute; no-one has a cuter dog that I do. I sit at my breakfast table and the maid brings me my breakfast and I feel deep contentment. I read the paper and see that the stock exchange is down and my investments will suffer; I feel sad, annoyed and concerned but then the maid brings me my mail and I open an invitation to a great man’s house and I feel elated. How lucky I am to be invited to his house with other important people. Now I feel full of myself again…….

You see the pattern. We are a body – it is true – the brain is the central computer in charge of it all, including our emotional responses and thoughts. We have five senses taking in information all the time and we react through chemical exchanges happening in our body and have thoughts and feelings, opinions and woes, all from this same system that we call man.

Nine times out of ten, that is all we become. There is nothing wrong with that. Nature’s cycles take care of it all. We will be born and live in a variety of different ways – all within certain parameters – until the day we die. That may be sooner or later.

However, there are some of us who have maybe not had such an easy time of it and/or been vulnerable to other influences that have caused us to stop in our tracks. They have not been able to settle for those things that make people accept their lot, i.e. co-dependent relationships, substance addictions and philosophical ideas and belief systems. Some of us have stopped and asked… “Hang on, what is going on here? How come things are the way they are? What am I even? What is this place that we live in? Are we here accidentally or is there some kind of purpose?” Some of these people have looked further and spent time with others who have gained some knowledge through spending their whole lives, looking for answers to these questions. For most of us, we say, “What’s the point in that, we can never really know?”

But for others of us, we have asked and asked and those questions have become the most important focus of our lives. We have not wanted to stay ‘scraping the bottom,’ behaving and believing we are important and valuable somehow, whilst knowing that we do not REALLY know a single thing. These people become more than just puppets here. More than just physical beings dependent on their environment. These people have experienced that there are realities beyond the physical realm. That we are not just bodies (i.e. very complicated machines).

Through questing and constantly challenging reality – we find new horizons.

We take too much blame – we all suffer from the same, it’s just that some of us manage better than others. The more sincere we are, the harder it can be – because we aren’t happy with just acting a part – we want REAL communications.

Don’t take others responses to you as an accurate gauge of who you are and what you are about – through your own self-questing you will find a different and reliable measure. People are people – my Gran used to say “there’s nought so weird as folk” and it’s true. The people around you will carry on in their relatively unconscious and irresponsible manners – it doesn’t mean you have to be the same. Try and see that they are not intending to be that way – they simply don’t know any way to be, other than the way that they are being. Don’t take it personally.

There are billions and billions of people here – mostly scared and out for themselves – but all in their heart of hearts, hoping for better days, for a kinder world… one where they can relax and be as they really are – to be able to stop acting and still be accepted. The only way this can happen is if there are a few of us that can take the strain and can take these people with a pinch of salt and make a fuss out of their good points. This way, we can bring enlightenment and harmony to our planet.

Is enlightenment a real possibility? I ask this because not everyone is going to change and be themselves, as they are so caught up in surviving their lives.

Each one of us has a ‘ripple effect’. People meet for the first time and there are subliminal (unconscious) messages being given and received. You don’t just effect the people you notice – your influence is far wider. If there were 500 people and 5 maniacs within them – if all the people didn’t try, there would still be chaos. Now take the same scenario and imagine 5 conscious people. Can you imagine the impact?

This is what is going on: there are people waking up and realizing that as long as we all behave so helplessly, waiting for there to be proof before we make these greater efforts, then nothing will change. For me, I have a way I want to be regardless of whether I am one in a hundred, a thousand, or the only one.

When you go out, experiment with it. Do it consciously. One night go out and decide up front to be depressing and another, to be uplifting. You will see that the hardest thing about that is to remember and the second hardest thing about it, is to be able to keep your own desires and repulsion’s out of it. But if you can do that, you may learn something new and it may even change your life.

By the way, thinking about doing that – is not the same as doing it!

If we want to reclaim the power in our own lives, that is where we must begin. With ourselves. Once we are free of fears, illusions and subsequent constraints, we interact with our environment in a positive and encouraging manner and we start to recreate our lives.

BEGIN WITH YOURSELF – AND ALL ELSE WILL FOLLOW.

The world is like a ride in an amusement park and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, because that’s how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and around and around and it has thrills and chills and it’s very brightly colored and it’s very loud. And it’s fun, for a while.

Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question, is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, and they say, “Hey, don’t worry, don’t be afraid, ever, because… this is just a ride.” –Bill Hicks

Thank you for reading. Comments welcome.

© 2015 Sarita Perrott. All Rights Reserved.

http://www.trans4mind.com/counterpoint/index-goals-life-coaching/perrott.shtml